My brain is cooler than yours

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-29T05:28:00

2007-09-29T12:42:46Z

The thing that sucks about evening shifts at work is that when I'm off, everything's closed already... and ALL I work are evening shifts.

But it's okay, cuz I like money. Irony is working hard to be able to afford hella shopping for clothes, but not being able to wear those clothes in public cuz all you really do is sleep and work. LOL. Naw, I do shit too but I have more NEW outfits than days off! 2 days off a week and on those days I have school! Oh well, that's life. It keeps me distracted and that is a good thing.

I've decided that I need new hair: cut and color. I'll put together a budget and get my shit done. I wish I had the balls and the facial structure for straight bangs.

this one is for you

2007-09-25T08:48:08Z

KEVIN MITCHELL AND I PLAYING DDR

EMBARRASSING, I KNOW.
GOOD TIMES.

we're fucking going back to q-zar when you get back, motherfucker.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-21T13:49:00

2007-09-21T21:02:04Z

Today is the first time I have called in sick. I'm actually quite surprised that I was healthy for so long; usually I have a stay-home illness at least once every season. I actually lasted the summer (and I believe even the Spring) without being even slightly dodgy enough to call it a day.

I want to eat hella chicken noodle soup and drink a shitload of tea.
I'm going to ask Daryl to bring me some Splenda (which does not cause cancer in humans).

To be honest with you, I'm excited to be sick. I get to stay at home and do useless crap! It's been months!
I have to write an essay by midnight, but that can't kill the day for me even if it tried.

What sucks about being sick is that I was supposed to hit up the club tonight. I even bought an all white outfit a week ago since it's an all-white affair. What sucks even more is that I don't think i will ever wear this outfit unless it was for an all-white affair. LOL.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-20T00:42:00

2007-09-20T07:53:58Z

Before I left my house this morning, my dad yelled at me. It was like 2 sentences, but the fact that he had the audacity to even YELL at me for that reason was just appalling. I learn this habit from you, Pops... How about I start pointing out the things that you like to hide but I know about?

So I was bummed when I got into Daryl's car. We drove around aimlessly cuz I was sad so there wasn't much conversation. He drove to the Spirit Halloween store. That's when things slowly started looking up. It's almost as if he planned it.

We start looking at T-shirts and read the greatest shirt : Facts about Chuck Norris. Did you know that Chuck Norris wears cowboy bootsmade from real cowboys?

Then we start looking at all the costumes in the fricken store. I tried one on and bought it. I was in a good ass mood afterwards. I was debating whether or not to tell people, but I know I'm gonna slip sooner or later.

It isn't official Harry Potter/ WB brand so of course instead of "Hogwarts" the crest says "Wizard's School" LOL. Basically, I'm going to be (what I call) "a Harry Potter slut." Because, in fact, the costume is pretty slutty. This costume kicks any SCHOOLGIRL'S ass, though. I mean COME ON, I HAVE A WAND! It's in Gryffindor colors, so I can;t be CHO CHANG. I distinctly remember that being an Asian girl meant that it was weird to be a blonde Disney princess for Halloween, so the only big Asian thing I could be was CHO CHANG or something..but I'm technically NOT since she's in Ravenclaw. Oh well.. there can be another Asian girl with big cheeks at Hogwart's.lol.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-13T01:46:00

2007-09-13T09:07:04Z

To be perfectly honest with you I just went through a phase where I didn't want to listen to underground hip hop. I felt that it took too much thought and it was too mellow to keep up with my fast-paced life. Now I'm back because I need to chill the fuck out. I don't know what nervous breakdowns or anxiety attacks feel like, but I'm a few notches short of finding out.

Its cliche, but the radio really does fucking suck. I'm sick of being force-fed these "ehh" songs that I EVENTUALLY learn to like just because they are played over and over again. 50 cent fucking sucks, I hate his new singles. Sean Kingston's voice annoys the crap outta me but I eventually learned to like his songs (JoJo does it better). I hate that fucking Fergie song. Acoustic guitar doesn't make you a fucking down-ass music artist, your voice doesn't do shit for me unless there's some ridiculous interpretation of a dance beat behind it. I'm not even gonna say shit about that Souljah Boy bullshit cuz I know I'mma learn that dance by the time I hit up the next club...and I'mma do it with a big smile on my face. Kanye's not a disappointment, but when would he ever be? That Cassie song is kiiinda cool but then I realize "this bitch cannot fucking sing" and the whole song just pisses me off. I love Keyshia Cole, dammit. I don't care who knows it. I love "Wait For You" by Elliott Yamin..holy shit. lol. I guess they are only "hits" to me when I'm in the club. Overall, fuck the radio. It didn't kill hip hop though, so you can all shut up about that shit... the shirts are just cool.

I don't wanna hear any shit about "oh man underground is my shit how could you not listen to it all the time." COME ON shut the fuck up I listened to so much damn underground that it became my mainstream so I switched it up. Blame me for not being satisfied with bobbing my head or rapping along to lyrics everyday. IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE DOPE but its not always gonna suit your interests when you only have time to listen to a handful of songs in the car ride to work.

Hip hop conversations piss me off to the max. It's all been said already in the past.

Jill Scott.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-12T02:39:00

2007-09-12T09:52:56Z

Random: Has anyone noticed that Beau Sia has a cameo appearance in Hitch? He's the clerk in the grocery store when Hitch needs Benadryl. I caught it the other night...

Tonight I went to Q-Zar with the Kevins and Daryl. It's not even a game to me anymore...it's a sport. That was hella fun and I am down to go anytime. 2 rounds and I was tired, but happy. I have a strategy at laser tag now so next time I'm gonna rain down all your throats with hot acid and dissolve your testicles...and then get a higher score than you. BOOYAH!

My sister got me a FlipVideo for my birthday and I just received it last night. I lost about an hour of potential sleep because I was setting it up and playing with it. I now have my own videos on YouTube. HAHA. Today I had Daryl record Kevin Mitchell and I playing DDR. I'm sorry, I know this is lame DDR freak status, but I've always wanted a video of myself playing DDR. The love for the game will follow me to the grave. I'll play that shit with a walker when I'm 80... on heavy.

In the past 2 weeks I have not only discovered, but indulged, in the whole Wing Stop craze. That shit is crack to me now.

You'd think that since I work with food that I'd gain weight. I have actually lost 12lbs. HA. Still chubs, though.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-06T04:12:00

2007-09-06T11:23:26Z

Elephants are my favorite animals. I made this decision years before being random was a cool thing.

Why? As a kid, my sister brought me to the zoo. I stood in front of an open elephant display where a little elephant (okay little as in like 7 feet tall) was looking back at me. It fucking pointed at me with its trunk. My sister called me over and I walked to my sister who was way to my right. The elephant followed me with its trunk. Yeah, best elephant story. lol. Cute, huh?

Daryl got me a little elephant plush. I named it Owen. Katrina got me a tiny pink plush elephant that squeaks. I haven't come up with a name yet.

I already picked my future child's Halloween costume...yep, that's right: elephant. LOL.

Sometimes it's like "why the fuck do I like elephants?" Then I remember...

My kid will hate me when they are a teenager. HAHAHA.
Not as bad as my second kid who will be a chicken:

I love you, future kids! Just let me laugh at you for the first few years and it'll be all good.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-04T03:16:00

2007-09-04T10:34:37Z

Labor Day weekend was pretty fuckin' awesome. I would refer to it as my "birthday weekend" but the focus on me was only on Sunday.

Friday: fuck wait what did I do on Friday? lol

Saturday: I rolled around bed until 9pm. Daryl picked me up and we went to the city for an art opening reception at D-STRUCTURE for Joshua Lawyer. His art is pretty fucking cool*. Chilled at the Villas with Robert and Katrina while we watched the Craft (awesome movie).

Sunday: Spaghetti Factory. Glaskat. The Villas. I realized that I am the clubbing-type but I'm not a clubrat. I also don't drink and shit, I just like to dance.

Monday: Went to Daryl's to eat bbq..fuckin hella good. Then we went shopping! Yay! LOL MY FAVORITE. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, a vest, jeans, and a shirt... I spent about $90. I'm pretty thrifty (okay fine, cheap) but I like the shit that I buy and would buy it even if it cost more.

*When I view art, I notice that I look at it FIRST while being judgmental as fuck and then looking at it a SECOND time going by my instinctive opinion. At first I was a little judgmental thinking it was a little too Sam Flores-esque, but then the second look passed my test with flying colors so that's a good thing. I'm picky about art..I don't appreciate shit that doesn't look cool to me LOL. I don't give a fuck what techniques and blah de blah is used. I don't even care how the artist was feeling. It's what it motherfucking looks like that matters. Nothing touches Alex pardee's shit so..yeah shut up.

I think I need to practice cutting out cuss words when I speak. I need to find a better word than "shit" to refer to stuff and I need to find a classier adjective than "fuckin" to stress extremities.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-02T05:37:00

2007-09-02T12:37:28Z

Glaskat tonight!
Come see me!

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-09-01T18:03:00

2007-09-02T01:21:26Z

I have a LiveJournal because it's comforting to just be able to put my shit out there to find out if anyone actually cares. It's a very empty process, because even when people leave comments saying "cheer up" I still feel like crap. In reality, there's just no one to talk to about the sad side of life.

I once had a boyfriend who consumed all my time, effort, and emotion. Now I have myself to do the very same. I will stay devoted to me, myself, and I and I won't let anyone make me feel like I can't be happy. I like to think that I would be happy in life if I never fell in love again.

I can't seem to grasp a single memory from the past almost 2 years that doesn't involve him. This fucking sucks. This only proves that I was a little too tied up in love and didn't even live for myself anymore. Why the hell couldn't Eternal Sunshine be based on a true story?

I would devote a whole entry to a list of things I did wrong with him, but that's just totally too much information. All I can say is that I wasn't loved the way I wanted to be. You can only try to change people so much before you realize that it just can't happen. I got mad at him so much for not being the boyfriend that I thought I deserved, but I should've just seen that I either didn't deserve one at all or that he couldn't be what I expected.

I really was happy.
And I am a real dumbass.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-08-28T01:29:00

2007-08-28T08:45:38Z

I accomplished so much this summer. Pretty much everything I said I would do, I did.
It's over now.

But these accomplishments have long-term benefits. They aren't stupid ones like "OOH I'M GONNA SMOKE ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN" types of shit... they're "Oh I'm gonna get a job" and "Oh I'm gonna get a 4.0 for summer semester" kinds.

I would probably enjoy writing about how I've changed as a person, but judging by how dumb people still are even when they write those types of entries, I'm gonna pass. There are no epiphanies to be found here.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-08-26T04:42:00

2007-08-26T11:53:30Z

You think you deserve a fucking medal for spending so much time on me and remembering to call me nowadays...

but then at some point I thought to myself, "Why shouldn't it be like this? He has no job and he didn't do shit this summer"

I also wondered what will happen the very second you start your job or become busy...

Yesterday morning, you said you'd call me right back, but instead you were <b>too busy</b>.

I know it isn't right, but my main insecurity ,that even I think is too drawn out, is being heightened. It isn't a logical problem for me to have, but it definitely is a problem. I don't expect anyone but myself to understand. I am overly paranoid and I have great reason to be. I let my guard down for a single weekend and I got fucked over. I thought I could train myself to be more trusting, but in the process I was lied to.

I know that no one should ever have to prove what they're worth...but I am constantly doing so.
When are you gonna start?

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-08-08T02:06:00

2007-08-08T09:15:15Z

Totally missed my first company picnic today. I woke up and my stomach was burning. I hate getting ready and going out when I'm under the weather...I just can't do it.

I ate at INO twice tonight...hahahaha. The shit just happens to be open late.

I am no longer easily amused...I don't know why. I just want to sleep all damn day..that's what it's all about. I wanna watch TV for once, but I haven't watched in so long. When school starts, I hope I don't go out as often. I am actually looking forward to being a homebody. I actually wish I didn't work so i can be lazy: attend class in the mornings then roll around home in the evenings. Studying, watching TV, and both at the same time.

Why I love YouTube..

2007-08-05T08:15:33Z

I missed this fucking movie. I had a random urge to watch it because I randomly thought of it...so I searched it and BAM! It's there. I love it.

My favorite part is the worm..just cuz he's cuuuute and he's wearing a little scarf.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-08-04T03:51:00

2007-08-04T10:52:21Z

Not posting negative thoughts anymore because

1) i don't have any

and

b) I don't have the time to

Maybe a poem next time.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-31T04:16:00

2007-07-31T11:18:55Z

I just watched an incredibly intriguing film that was released in 1991 called "Switch." Ellen Barkin is the shit in that one. I love when HBO shows movie that no one cares about! Cuz I like 'em sometimes.

So Kevin Smith is going to be doing Heroes: origins.. fuck that's gonna be different. He's great though. We all know that. We just have to see if his style works with it... But i'm rooting for him, totally.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-28T02:24:00

2007-07-28T09:30:35Z

I'm constantly tired as hell with just an online class and a part-time job. This is the best of my summer LOL. Of course I enjoy summer but I'm always tired!

I CANNOT IMAGINE what it's gonna be like in the Fall: 20 hours of work + 20 hours of class each week (just counting lecture time, not study or homework time). Plus I wanna do well in school.. shit. lol.

Recently opened my very first bank account. Can't wait to put more money into that bitch.

Wouldn't you say that your first paycheck at a new job should be spent and celebrated? I think so...therefore I shall. It's a small one anyway. =)

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-21T23:52:00

2007-07-22T06:55:02Z

my excuse for not finishing the book is:

i have a life and a good one at that. i have a fucking tiring ass job and an accelerated ONLINE class with 2 books of work squished into 6 weeks of summer session.

so yeah. daryl's been pissing me off telling me how far along he is in the book and then eventually bragging about finishing it. all i can say is..NIGGA you dont have a motherfuckin job and YOUR MOMMY paid for that book. i paid for my shit..and not thru allowance.

Harry Potter

2007-07-21T14:30:47Z

I am scared as shit right now to even check my friends page.. I know some fucker's gonna post spoilers. Some of us have shit to do so we can't read the book all in one sitting, ok? I had a fucking government test to take online and i just took it.. I'm only on page 269 of Deathly Hallows and I've been reading on and off since I copped my book.

Damn I saw some random people at Borders.. I pre-ordered my shit <3 but I ended up ditching Borders to get my book at Safeway! HA! I even copped a box! Then it was a few stoges and straight home to start reading..then I realized AW SHIT i gotta do government work and then take this online test! So I've been busy all night and haven't slept.. I have work too! FUCK!

booyah! hahah. I don't know why I'm in love with this box. I felt cool walking around Borders holding it boldly announcing HEY I STOLE A WHOLE BOX FROM SAFEWAY (which was a lie, but funny to see people's reactions anyway).

cross-posted from my myspace blog..

2007-07-14T11:23:26Z

I really don't know if it was good or not. I never think anything I throw is good because I'm stressing about what other people are thinking about it. I know a lot of people weren't even able to get in because of the capacity and for that I truly apologize...but I totally said it was gonna happen, right?
For the first half, Daryl said there were sound problems and that people "beyond the fountain" couldn't hear. It wasn't so much a technical problem. It was more like the people with smaller voices went in the first half. There stuff was good though! I'm sorry to ppl in the back =(. A chunk of people left once intermission hit, but honestly...That was a huge mistake because the sound was all good in the second half and the second half seemed to get more reaction from the audience, so that probably means it was more rewarding. There were also music performances in the second half.
Daryl decided to perform hella last minute although he never even got to practice ONCE. He said it was dedicated to me and everyone went mushy like 'awWww jill awWww' and yeah that was coool. I hella don't get embarrassed hahaha. I'm not entirely sure what all the songs in his medley were, but I remember he did "Fill Me In" by Craig David and "My Boo" by Usher & Alicia Keys. It was cute.
I hella appreciate the new faces that came through! I could tell some were a tad shy because it's really their first time performing for this specific crowd (and trust me its usually the same people at these haha). I'm glad that people signed up and wanted to get on the mic. Some people have no idea how entertaining it is to watch a bunch of people present stuff they learned or created.
I also hella appreciate the people who completely understand that events have their problems and we jus gotta do the best with the situation. Basically the situation was that the hookah wasn't free with admission. I feel bad about that, but very recently Hookah Paradise changed their tobacco into some high quality shit that costs bank! it's no one's fault, it's just something that came up very last minute. I mean they're trynna deliver some quality shit in people's lungs while you watch performers deliver some quality shit to your ears. Ya feel me?
(But honestly tell me 5 bucks for a show that's usually 5 bucks on its own without the hookah is a little too good to be true..forrilz tho!)
I honestly love Hookah Paradise and all the people they had working tonight. Zaki and Wais, you guys are the shit for this. I really don't know how I can show my appreciation for this oppurtunity. If it makes you guys feel good, then I'm honestly gonna tell you that hella people said "Jill this place is tight.. and in FREMONT." So hopefully you guys see more business whether or not you have me doing an open mic. I just totally love the place and I wanted to somehow bring all my friends in there to find out about it.
Man so everyone give me time to breathe before I plan another one! I didn't even write a poem for this one which sucks cuz everyone was calling me out to recite! I feel hella dumb being the spoken word person and having nothing to show for it haha. Whatever, fool. I plan the events and you go to them. I've been having writer's block, aiight? And you know what they say... "when you can't write, plan." .....Okay I just made that up.
All I can say is that this past week I haven't had more than like 4 hours of sleep each night merely because I was nervous about tonight. There was always something I had to take care of or someone new trynna sign up and ask me hella questions. It's cool dude. In the end it is worth it. You may ask why I plan these things myself (for the most part). Honestly, its because if you want something done right you do it YOURSELF. I can't give MYSELF excuses, but other people can. So that's why I stress out so much. I don't have a club with little committees taking care of every little aspect of the event. It's pretty much me handling things or asking someone last minute to do me a favor right then.
Thank you Robert and Daryl for doing the door. Seriously dude... I love my boys. They're pretty much the shit and I thought it was hilarious when Claire said on the mic that her poem was for Robert and he's the biggest asshole ever. It was funny to me because its true (haha) but what made it even funnier is that everyone understood and laughed too! Best asshole I know, I'll tell you that.
I hope you guys aren't disappointed, but if you are please let me know. My feelings won't get hurt. I just want to know what I can personally do to make things better the next time around. (Don't mention the sound being low because I caught onto that already haha)
I wish my siblings were there to see me, but they are caught up in LA doing their thing..it's called "living." haha. But I know for sure that they would've been proud because even before my mom left to go to work she said she was proud ( or did she say "nice?") that I was doing something. My mom doesn't say that shit to me, she's actually always hella blunt and condescending...but not today. Because look what I can do...BITCHES.

When some new people come up and start doing their own hella cool open mic events..I am SO out of the job. haha.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-12T13:26:00

2007-07-12T20:26:58Z

I am going to rip my own face off if this stress continues to eat at me.

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-11T17:27:00

2007-07-12T00:29:13Z

Virgo Horoscope:

You want your friends to enjoy themselves and are willing to expend an extraordinary level of energy to accomplish this goal.

DAMN THATS HELLA TRUE FOR THIS WEEK.

Oh and please dont come to spoken word unless you truly appreciate poetry and music cuz i dont wanna waste space on your ass. Sorry I just had to say it. I don't want a bunch of rappers and poets standing outside waiting to get in while your random ass sits and hookahs while not even caring about the show.

This event is gonna be so packed I'm actually trying to de-publicize it. hahaha.

Something I just noticed about myself..

2007-07-11T14:54:13Z

I'm the type of person who is more excited than others about being their friend. Like I actually get excited that I make a new friend. I'm sure that the new friend really doesn't care LOL but I'm such a loser that I really appreciate their friendship. If I don't greet you with a huge excited smile, it isn't because I don't love you, it's because I'm taming the friendly beast inside of me. I don't want to NOT look cool so I'll totally just shake your hand and say 'wsup man' but inside I'm like OMG I MISSED YOU. hahaha.

The best feeling is when another person reciprocates in the excitedness to see me. I love the people you see and you both smile and run to each other for an awesome hug. That's what I'm all about. LOL.

SPOKEN WORD UPDATE

2007-07-10T06:39:34Z

Hey guys,

I know a lot of you were looking forward to Spoken Word this Friday but...

yeah it's gonna be awesome! hahaha. I guarantee that you WILL NOT get a seat if you don't come on time! I'm sending this out to all of you who are my friends cuz you are the people I want to see and actually GET SEATS! So please come on time because THIS EVENT WAS HELLA PUBLICIZED and its gonna be JAM-PACKED full of people. Don't forget your ID! Just because you know me doesn't mean you'll get in because the establishment is an 18+ environment.

You can smoke cigarettes in this environment because it is an OUTDOOR PATIO so I don't think there is going to be any INS AND OUTS because why would you risk losing your seat?

No need for OUTSIDE FOOD AND DRINKS because Hookah Paradise has an assortment of drinks to choose from and is connected to a Falafel restaurant (that shit is good trust me..try something new for once).

DON'T COME IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BEING AROUND HELLA SMOKE. Sorry guys... but it's a smoking establishment and there's gonna be A LOT of it going on.

AGAIN DO NOT BRING ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET IN.

HOOKAH PARADISE IS THE SHIT FOR HAVING A SPOKEN WORD THERE..SO RESPECT THE PLACE. It's pretty much fucking awesome.

Okay that's it for now. Look out for new updates!

abstrakt_mynd @ 2007-07-07T18:15:00

2007-07-08T01:16:48Z

Goddamn people who get to live in LA. My brother just texted me "dude i'm in ikea in burbank and i jus ran into that bad guy from heroes: sylar! weird!" FUCK hahaha.