Before I left my house this morning, my dad yelled at me. It was like 2 sentences, but the fact that he had the audacity to even YELL at me for that reason was just appalling. I learn this habit from you, Pops... How about I start pointing out the things that you like to hide but I know about?

So I was bummed when I got into Daryl's car. We drove around aimlessly cuz I was sad so there wasn't much conversation. He drove to the Spirit Halloween store. That's when things slowly started looking up. It's almost as if he planned it.

We start looking at T-shirts and read the greatest shirt : Facts about Chuck Norris. Did you know that Chuck Norris wears cowboy bootsmade from real cowboys?

Then we start looking at all the costumes in the fricken store. I tried one on and bought it. I was in a good ass mood afterwards. I was debating whether or not to tell people, but I know I'm gonna slip sooner or later.

It isn't official Harry Potter/ WB brand so of course instead of "Hogwarts" the crest says "Wizard's School" LOL. Basically, I'm going to be (what I call) "a Harry Potter slut." Because, in fact, the costume is pretty slutty. This costume kicks any SCHOOLGIRL'S ass, though. I mean COME ON, I HAVE A WAND! It's in Gryffindor colors, so I can;t be CHO CHANG. I distinctly remember that being an Asian girl meant that it was weird to be a blonde Disney princess for Halloween, so the only big Asian thing I could be was CHO CHANG or something..but I'm technically NOT since she's in Ravenclaw. Oh well.. there can be another Asian girl with big cheeks at Hogwart's.lol.

Random: Has anyone noticed that Beau Sia has a cameo appearance in Hitch? He's the clerk in the grocery store when Hitch needs Benadryl. I caught it the other night...

Tonight I went to Q-Zar with the Kevins and Daryl. It's not even a game to me anymore...it's a sport. That was hella fun and I am down to go anytime. 2 rounds and I was tired, but happy. I have a strategy at laser tag now so next time I'm gonna rain down all your throats with hot acid and dissolve your testicles...and then get a higher score than you. BOOYAH!

My sister got me a FlipVideo for my birthday and I just received it last night. I lost about an hour of potential sleep because I was setting it up and playing with it. I now have my own videos on YouTube. HAHA. Today I had Daryl record Kevin Mitchell and I playing DDR. I'm sorry, I know this is lame DDR freak status, but I've always wanted a video of myself playing DDR. The love for the game will follow me to the grave. I'll play that shit with a walker when I'm 80... on heavy.

In the past 2 weeks I have not only discovered, but indulged, in the whole Wing Stop craze. That shit is crack to me now. 

You'd think that since I work with food that I'd gain weight. I have actually lost 12lbs. HA. Still chubs, though.

Elephants are my favorite animals. I made this decision years before being random was a cool thing.

Why? As a kid, my sister brought me to the zoo. I stood in front of an open elephant display where a little elephant (okay little as in like 7 feet tall) was looking back at me. It fucking pointed at me with its trunk. My sister called me over and I walked to my sister who was way to my right. The elephant followed me with its trunk. Yeah, best elephant story. lol. Cute, huh?

Daryl got me a little elephant plush. I named it Owen. Katrina got me a tiny pink plush elephant that squeaks. I haven't come up with a name yet.

I already picked my future child's Halloween costume...yep, that's right: elephant. LOL.

Sometimes it's like "why the fuck do I like elephants?" Then I remember...




My kid will hate me when they are a teenager. HAHAHA.
Not as bad as my second kid who will be a chicken:

I love you, future kids! Just let me laugh at you for the first few years and it'll be all good.

Labor Day weekend was pretty fuckin' awesome. I would refer to it as my "birthday weekend" but the focus on me was only on Sunday.

Friday: fuck wait what did I do on Friday? lol

Saturday: I rolled around bed until 9pm. Daryl picked me up and we went to the city for an art opening reception at D-STRUCTURE for Joshua Lawyer. His art is pretty fucking cool*. Chilled at the Villas with Robert and Katrina while we watched the Craft (awesome movie). 

Sunday: Spaghetti Factory. Glaskat. The Villas. I realized that I am the clubbing-type but I'm not a clubrat. I also don't drink and shit, I just like to dance. 

Monday: Went to Daryl's to eat bbq..fuckin hella good. Then we went shopping! Yay! LOL MY FAVORITE. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, a vest, jeans, and a shirt... I spent about $90. I'm pretty thrifty (okay fine, cheap) but I like the shit that I buy and would buy it even if it cost more.



*When I view art, I notice that I look at it FIRST while being judgmental as fuck and then looking at it a SECOND time going by my instinctive opinion. At first I was a little judgmental thinking it was a little too Sam Flores-esque, but then the second look passed my test with flying colors so that's a good thing. I'm picky about art..I don't appreciate shit that doesn't look cool to me LOL. I don't give a fuck what techniques and blah de blah is used. I don't even care how the artist was feeling. It's what it motherfucking looks like that matters. Nothing touches Alex pardee's shit so..yeah shut up. 


I think I need to practice cutting out cuss words when I speak. I need to find a better word than "shit" to refer to stuff and I need to find a classier adjective than "fuckin" to stress extremities.

I have a LiveJournal because it's comforting to just be able to put my shit out there to find out if anyone actually cares. It's a very empty process, because even when people leave comments saying "cheer up" I still feel like crap. In reality, there's just no one to talk to about the sad side of life.

I once had a boyfriend who consumed all my time, effort, and emotion. Now I have myself to do the very same. I will stay devoted to me, myself, and I and I won't let anyone make me feel like I can't be happy. I like to think that I would be happy in life if I never fell in love again. 

I can't seem to grasp a single memory from the past almost 2 years that doesn't involve him. This fucking sucks. This only proves that I was a little too tied up in love and didn't even live for myself anymore. Why the hell couldn't Eternal Sunshine be based on a true story?

I would devote a whole entry to a list of things I did wrong with him, but that's just totally too much information. All I can say is that I wasn't loved the way I wanted to be. You can only try to change people so much before you realize that it just can't happen. I got mad at him so much for not being the boyfriend that I thought I deserved, but I should've just seen that I either didn't deserve one at all or that he couldn't be what I expected.

I really was happy.
And I am a real dumbass.

I accomplished so much this summer. Pretty much everything I said I would do, I did.
It's over now.

But these accomplishments have long-term benefits. They aren't stupid ones like "OOH I'M GONNA SMOKE ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN" types of shit... they're "Oh I'm gonna get a job" and "Oh I'm gonna get a 4.0 for summer semester" kinds.

I would probably enjoy writing about how I've changed as a person, but judging by how dumb people still are even when they write those types of entries, I'm gonna pass. There are no epiphanies to be found here.

You think you deserve a fucking medal for spending so much time on me and remembering to call me nowadays...

but then at some point I thought to myself, "Why shouldn't it be like this? He has no job and he didn't do shit this summer"

 I also wondered what will happen the very second you start your job or become busy...

Yesterday morning, you said you'd call me right back, but instead you were <b>too busy</b>.

I know it isn't right, but my main insecurity ,that even I think is too drawn out, is being heightened. It isn't a logical problem for me to have, but it definitely is a problem. I don't expect anyone but myself to understand. I am overly paranoid and I have great reason to be. I let my guard down for a single weekend and I got fucked over. I thought I could train myself to be more trusting, but in the process I was lied to.

I know that no one should ever have to prove what they're worth...but I am constantly doing so.
When are you gonna start?

Not posting negative thoughts anymore because

1) i don't have any

and

b) I don't have the time to


Maybe a poem next time.

my excuse for not finishing the book is:

i have a life and a good one at that. i have a fucking tiring ass job and an accelerated ONLINE class with 2 books of work squished into 6 weeks of summer session.

so yeah. daryl's been pissing me off telling me how far along he is in the book and then eventually bragging about finishing it. all i can say is..NIGGA you dont have a motherfuckin job and YOUR MOMMY paid for that book. i paid for my shit..and not thru allowance.